Habanera… an aria from the opera, Carmen

Page 17 from the series Before the Pirates Came*







Love is a rebellious bird
that nobody can tame,
and you call him quite in vain
if it suits him not to come.

Nothing helps, neither threat nor prayer.
One man talks well, the other’s mum;
it’s the other one that I prefer.
He’s silent but I like his looks.

Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a gypsy’s child,
it has never, ever, known a law;
love me not, then I love you;
if I love you, you’d best beware!

The bird you thought you had caught
beat its wings and flew away …
love stays away, you wait and wait;
when least expected, there it is!

All around you, swift, so swift,
it comes, it goes, and then returns …
you think you hold it fast, it flees
you think you’re free, it holds you fast.

Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a gypsy’s child,
it has never, ever, known a law;
love me not, then I love you;
if I love you, you’d best beware!

…Habanera from the opera “Carmen” by Geoges Bizet (1875)

*     *     *     * 

Miranda woke up face down on a piece of graph paper, disoriented and hungry. It was 4 am. She grabbed a bag of Oreo’s, peed in a coffee can, and thought about her dream.  She wondered where she went wrong…

“… and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband, that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him:  and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.”  Ephesians 5:33 (AMP)

If he could tame me, would he want me back?  Is that what love is?  Me, all dressed up in a gilded cage, waiting for him to spin me onto the dance floor like Maksim Chmerkovskiy at the Admiral’s Ball?  Who wouldn’t be rebellious, held so tightly they couldn’t breathe (like that time in the Porsche, but that seems like a stupid thing to complain about now).

When I left without a word, did it matter?  Did he notice… did he miss me, too? 

“Love me not, then… you think you hold it fast, it fleas… love me not, then.”  Is it true in opera as in life?  Does Harry know I think about him in the dark at night, tucked into the softest sheets from the bed we shared?  Does he go to sleep alone and miss me, too?

Carmen laments, “It comes, it goes, and then returns… nothing helps, neither threat nor prayer.” 

Miranda pleads,  “From the depths, Prince Harry… rescue me, I’m here…” 

Lady Gaga shouts, “Judas is the demon I cling to… a king with no crown, king with no crown. ”  I know what he has made me and I hate us both.  


 *This story is based on some true events, however, has been fictionalized and all persons appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.



© 2011, Shoes for an Imaginary Life. All rights reserved.

This entry was posted in About me, Bipolar girl, Uncategorized, Vanity girl. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Habanera… an aria from the opera, Carmen

  1. .endtransmission. says:

    When I have moments of clarity like Miranda, I too, pee in a coffee can and eat Oreos. :-D

    I sense an avalanche of emotions following this entry…..

  2. I assume you like Oreos, and don’e we all.

  3. Theresa says:

    …I ate half a package of Double Stuff Oreos last night…was depressed.

    My heart goes out to her. Longing combined with regret and uncertainty…is torture.


    • Linda says:

      Why the cookies when you’re doing so well? What an inspiration you are! Hang in there and I will too. Writing has really messed me up lately. My therapist thinks it’s all good. Go figure… : )

  4. Debbie says:

    This one is just written so well, Linda. You capture the emotion without all the wordiness, without the gush, and it is so powerful. My heart is also breaking for her. . .and I’m without a single oreo.
    God bless you, amazing writer friend . . .soon to be new author. ;)

    • Linda says:

      Yes, oreo’s seem to be the universal cookie of choice for struggling girls everywhere. She really did listen to Carmen alot during the long days of boat restoration. Carmen was suffering more than she was and somehow that felt good. Sick, I know. There was no gush back then, but for whatever reason, it’s making me cry lately.

      Thanks for your kind words… : )

      • Debbie says:

        Well, I didn’t want to say it, didn’t know if I should, but it’s making me cry too! love and prayers. . .

        • Linda says:

          My friend… you always touch my heart. Remember the secret I told you about how I found all my journals from the first year I knew Jesus? Miranda’s life has to be this bad for the journals to be that good. ( Those are the real tearjerkers.) Love and hugs to you this morning… : )

  5. Jan says:

    Chocolate in any form makes things better somehow. Not necessarily healthy, I know, but sometimes a chocolate buzz is just what I need to get through the next fifteen minutes. ;)

  6. Ferd says:

    I LOVE “moments of clarity!” I love awareness.
    The words from Carmen’s Habanera seem so true, because most of us can remember such feelings of self pity after losing at love.
    I LOVE this heartfelt lament.
    I LOVE this brave, beautiful catharsis.

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